These Are the Things I've Learned...

Since having my oral surgery--the only real medical procedure I've ever had done--on Tuesday, I've learned a few things. I thought I'd share:
1. Google is a hypochondriac's best friend and is therefore inherently evil if you are sick and anxious.

2. Not eating while taking narcotics will result in being violently ill and told you are no longer allowed to take narcotics. This causes a considerable amount of pain and cussing.

3. There is a remarkable amount of food that you really don't have to chew if you don't want to.

4. Tylenol is amazing. Especially if you happen to experience the situation mentioned in #2.

5. When your dreamy oral surgeon tells you that taking out a horizontally-impacted wisdom tooth will be the same as taking out a partially erupted wisdom tooth, kick him in the shins and run. He's lying.

6. I am a coward when it comes to pain and the anticipation of pain. However, as the situation mentioned in #2 proved, I also have a relatively high tolerance for pain. Confounding.

7. Daytime TV really, truly sucks. Other than "The Price is Right."

8. Seeing Drew Carey on "The Price of Right" is still disconcerting.

9. Sleeping on the couch has a three night window of acceptability. After that, your back and neck will revolt.

And last (and most importantly):

Real love is when your mom takes three days off of work to just sit with you because she knows you're scared. Real love is when your husband sleeps on the floor for three nights while you sleep on the couch because he knows he can't really fix the pain, but he can at least keep you company.

And that last one was definitely a lesson worth learning.

But seriously... kick the guy in the shins and run.

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