Christmas Spirit Just Vomited All Over my House

Despite the fact my house is aglow with with two different Christmas trees, smells like peppermint, and could land planes by the glow emanating from our balcony's festive lights right now, I'm having a little trouble finding the Christmas spirit this season.

Perhaps it's because we have no snow on the ground--a blessing for my commute, but depressingly unattractive. Perhaps it's the fact that, in a bad economy, an already tight budget is making gift buying exceedingly stressful. Or perhaps it's the fact that my students--in a fit of mid-winter doldrums--have mostly turned into asshats over the past few weeks. Whatever the reason, the generosity and joy of the Christmas season have escaped me; I find myself stuck in a Scrooge-y mindset that I just can't seem to shake.

This year, I find myself avoiding the Salvation Army bell ringers like they have the plague and cussing far more than is customary, even for me. But perhaps this is the reality of the holiday season as an adult; there is a reason that anxiety and depression tend to skyrocket during the holiday months. The stress of the season is trying in the best of times. And in a bad economy, it's downright overwhelming.

And this season, with no snow on the ground to soften the dreariness of frozen, dead grass and bare tree limbs, some of the magic seems to have gone out of everything. But I remain cautiously optimistic that, with a forecast of snow in the coming weeks, the holiday spirit will find me soon. Presents are beginning to pile up under the tree, and I suspect that when a few finally have my name on them, my mood will perk up considerably. A blanket of snow will make the season feel more real, and the anticipation of a solid week off does make me hopeful.

Because let's face it, there is nothing more magical than the holiday season. The whole idea of the season is beautiful. Hope in despair, generosity in lean times, love and light in the darkest of nights. And perhaps, with the lack of snow, a bad economy, and a few asshat students, I need that magic more than ever. A gentle reminder that, even in the darkest of times, there is beauty, love and hope. There is light and joy. There is magic.

And the presents don't hurt, either.


Kristi Ruport said…
I found myself looking for a 'like' button here :) Hopefully you got some snow today where you are - we did!
Allison said…
Sadly, we are still sans snow. I'm starting to get impatient!

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